Oh, the shame

Hi there. I realise it's been a while. I've been staying away. Actually, I've been hiding from you. Why? Because of the shame.

I'm ashamed because I've been spending money, you see - the money that should be smashing my debt. I've been spending it on fast women and loose cars. No, that's not right. I've been spending it on CLOTHES.

Last month I spent $615 on clothes. Money that could have been going towards my debt. Money that was mostly whittered away on eBay on items that I received in the post and which consequently don't fit. And then of course, Whistles is having a sale.

I justified this by saying that I had sold some items on eBay, and I did. $200 of the eBay sales money went on the debt. The rest went on other clothes on eBay. (eBay is a cycle of doom, I tell you! You're bound to lose.)

Also, our flatmate, Trixie, moved out of our house, and now that we have the place to ourselves, the rent has gone up. This hasn't helped with the whole smashing of the debt, although it has helped slightly with our sanity.

So... this month. No online shopping. (I've already broken this rule with these gorgeous Urban Outfitters shorts, which I bought yesterday, but hey - it's always a good time to turn over a new leaf.

So I should really say no more online shopping. I've also culled my wardrobe AGAIN in an effort to create the perfect capsule wardrobe (in which I'm sure these shorts will play a vital role) and am selling on eBay again. If it all sells it'll be another $500 I can throw at the debt. It's getting manageable now, although I'm not exactly sure where it's at. After all, I'm too ashamed to look...

Mistakes, Mistakes, Mistakes

I thought it best to employ Pulp to explain the way I've been feeling. My first mistake: I bought a few things online. By a few I mean two pairs of shoes, two shirts, a dress and a skirt. I also went to The Smith (High St, Prahran - my favourite restaurant) for dinner. Twice. And then I booked a trip interstate to visit my sister in Sydney.

So how much money is left at the end of the month? Hm. And how much month is left at the end of the money. Hmmmm.

So, take two. I got paid today (getting paid monthly is a bitch) and I put $500 straight on the loan. We're now down to $7800, which isn't disappearing nearly as quickly as I'd like it to. Strummer is working extra hours but it's not making much of a difference. I need a quickfix. Pronto.

So I bought myself a lottery ticket. Mum always says that a lottery ticket is not a savings plan, but I'm every hopeful. Last night's draw was ten million big ones, so I'm hoping that I'm a millionnaire and don't know it yet.

Loan sits at: $7800
Motivation level: Bored, but hopeful for imminent windfall

Thank You, ATO

One of the happy side effects of not getting paid much is that I get a nice tax return at the end of the financial year. This isn't automatic - I have to fill in a mind-numbing form - but once I've gone to all that trouble I have a healthy amount deposited right into my account. The most awesome thing about this is that the time between filling in the aforementioned mind-numbing form and the money being deposited is always longer than expected and so by the time I finally get my return I've forgotten all about it. It's a lovely surprise to suddenly find yourself richer than expected.

This year it's $700 and I allow my eyes to glaze over as I think about all the things I could buy on Whistles with that money.  The glazing continues for most of the morning as I frantically trawl online boutiques, adding to cart in a frenzy, ignoring my workload (you know, that thing I actually get paid to do). However, this can't go on forever. Sooner or later I have to acknowledge the sad truth. That I made a promise. To Strummer, to myself, and to the online community known as the webterints. I don't like to break my promise.

It is with a heavy heart that I transfer the whole damn thing onto the debt. I feel sick and sad. I was rich for a moment - just a moment - and it was glorious. I imagined myself walking the streets dressed like a classy lady, eating at nice restaurants and maybe even trading in my car for a nicer model (one without major rotor issues). But it could not last. The smug feeling I had after putting my bonus on the debt is not there this time: I just feel fed up and annoyed. It's an inevitable mid-debt slump I suppose. It's now down to $8 500, which is about four thousand less than it was even three weeks ago. But it's still too much to feel like the end is in sight. I feel like I'm just throwing money at it, and that it's just gobbling up my cash. I suppose that is the point of the debt in the first place. Meh.

Looking good

And just like that, the debt is now under ten grand, for the first time in six years! See what we can do when we work together?

This is not thanks to me - I have had to pay for Guano's shiny new rotors and therefore haven't got anything to put aside this week. But Strummer got his tax return the other day and he put the whole damn lot on the debt. Booyakasha.

Despite it not being all my own work, I do feel superproud. It seems so much more manageable now. At the end of my second week, we sure are looking good.

Debt at: $9500
Motivation level: High, but frustrated
Anger levels towards Guano: Also high

What's a Rotor?

I'm going to display my lack of general knowledge here and put it out there: what's a rotor? I ask this with a keen interest in the answer because, you see, I need four of them.

For some time now my car, Guano, the Silver Stallion, has been driving a bit funny (as those of us with a lack of general knowledge put it). He's feeling a bit tired, poor dear, and the brakes are a bit squeaky, and everything kind of crunches. So I thought, this isn't good. And I took him to the car doctor.

As it turns out, now I rather wish I hadn't. You see, the nice mechanic explained to me that what my car needs is four new rotors. At a cost of at least $225. Each. Awesome.

My car has basically guzzled my money since I got it, whether in the form of petrol, insurance, repairs, or depreciating value. And now this. Bless his little socks. (Cars don't have socks).

But I guess there's nothing for it but to suck it up and bemoan the fact that it's $900 I won't be putting on the debt. I'll be putting it on Guano, the moneysucking sucker instead.

You know how to whistle, don't you?

Oh dear, I seem to have hit my first hurdle, in the form of Whistles. It's probably my favourite store ever, and in a moment of weakness (it was only a moment, I swear!) I spent $200 on this blouse.

Now it is actually the most stunning thing I have ever seen. But that's $200 that I won't be throwing at the debt, and that's $200 further away I am from smashing that bitch. It's also $200 I couldn't really afford anyway. But look! Look at the pretty blouse!

I have decided to off-set my superfluous spending by selling some stuff on eBay. The bad news is that I don't have anything worth buying - or the things I do have which are worth buying are all the things I want to hang onto. But nevertheless, I've put some things on eBay in the hope they will sell and my Paypal will forgive me. I'll let you know how I go at the end of the week.

Free Money!

So one of the few perks of working in marketing is that the long hours and endless repetition of words and phrases like "builds" and "consumer imprints" are eventually rewarded at the end of every financial year with a bonus. I've never had a job where I got a bonus before, and this one isn't exactly huge, but it IS free money so I'm not going to complain.

Of course as soon as bonuses are announced and we all know what we're getting the office goes into a bit of a frenzy. I start adding items to my Asos wishlist like there's no tomorrow. And then I discovered these:

Aren't. They. Beautiful. They are the perfect shape, the perfect height, the perfect design. They are timeless and classic, and as I live in ankle boots in winter and summer and all days in between, they would be perfect with everything I own. They are from Rag and Bone, a US store I can't usually afford, and they are $550US. While I was browsing away on Rag and Bone, I also saw this beautiful overnight bag, which will be perfect to take to the UK when I go to visit my family at Christmas. It's $395US. This is the only time in my life that I have ever had enough money to afford a $395 bag.

Unfortunately by the time the tax office/superannuation has got its mitts on it the bonus is virtually halved, so what looked like a respectable three grand a few months ago has now been deposited as $1500. Not a lot of cashola when you stack it up against the debt. And the worst thing about it is that Strummer doesn't want my help - he didn't ask for it, he feels a bit embarrassed that I'm paying off a loan he got before he even met me, and he thinks I should use the bonus to treat myself to a gorgeous bag and a wonderful pair of shoes. But I've just started the Smash The Debt (STD - how convenient) Project and my motivational level is high.

So I turn away from the glorious and practical overnight bag, the beautiful shoes, and all the other temptations out there on the webterints, and I deposit the WHOLE DAMN LOT on the debt. I do feel a little sad, but also a teensy bit smug, as all my colleagues show me what they've bought with theirs. And it is pretty impressive to know that, in one fell swoop, the debt is now at $10, 731. Unfortunately it's not like I get a bonus everyday so I am going to have to think up some new and innovative ways to smash that bitch.

Total debt at end of first week: $10, 731

Motivation level: High